Never a Dull Moment in the City of God

This afternoon I saw more than a few interesting things:

1. A pregnant Grandmother with her daughter and granddaughter. Well, I'm about 90% sure of this one. Of course it could always be a grossly large abdominal tumor (at about 8.5 months).

2. A drunk homeless woman swimming in the fountain and then falling out of the fountain.

3. A demonstration being put on by the Firefighters of Rio asking for the public to support their request for a raise. I totally agree with this one, but they did lose points for not helping the obviously drunk homeless woman out of the fountain. Yes, these two events were happening side by side.

4. A very old woman wearing something that I wore when I was about 13 years old. Think neon pink short shorts, neon and white striped super tight tank top, big neon pink headband with flower, big white earrings, strappy pink sandals, and bright pink lipstick. I also heard her talk a little shit to a woman who she obviously felt was not dressed cute enough. She said something along the lines of 'That's not going to help you keep your man." Good for you Granny! Keep 'em guessing!

5. People saw my boys and I almost get hit by a car. This old man cruised past cars waiting at a red light and tried to turn into the gas station. We were waiting for the light to change at the crosswalk. I had to back up quickly and scream to get him to stop. The guy then had the balls to say that it's ok and to calm down. I said a lot of things to that. I don't think any of them are appropriate for my blog.

No wonder I'm so tired by the end of the day. This along with the regular craziness is a lot of stimulation for my little mind.  

Old Lady Carioca to the Rescue!

I was walking home from the pediatricians with my little ear infection baby this morning.  The police have taped off half a corner, next to a busy walk way. It's a great way to keep people from getting hit by crumbling buildings as opposed to actually fixing them.

Anyway, a kid, not knowing it was serious, crossed under the tape to avoid the crowds. Her mother freaked out and she jumped out at the nearest point, right next to me.  Domino effect. 

This run in pushed my stroller unexpectedly forward and it bumped the heel of an old lady. I was so embarrassed! Of course it was not my fault, nor was it that hard, but it sucks to have your foot hit by a stroller.

The lady obviously did not share my relaxed view of getting bumped into and started to tell me off. She dramatically grabbed onto her husband to lean down and stroke her heel. She then proceeded to whine and cry that it was her bad foot and I just hurt it so much more.

Don't get me wrong, I felt bad and apologized profusely. But people, there is no way this woman felt anything in her big orthopedic tennis shoes and with that small of a tap!

Then the unthinkable happened.  Another old lady came to my defense and started telling the first old lady off.

Girl fight, old lady style!

The second old lady told her that it was barely a tap and that if her foot was so bad then she shouldn't be out walking in such crowded areas!  Damn straight!  She then continued to defend me, telling her that I hadn't even been the reason the stroller hit her and that if she didn't calm down she'd end up dying of a heart attack.

It was a beautiful old Carioca lady moment!

Rupaul

My youngest son is still mastering the art of walking. He can really get going but holds his left arm up and out like the 90s arm movement that went along with the phrase whatever. If he were a girl he'd hold his purse in the crook of his elbow. It's not a big deal and his balance improves every day.

What is really great about the whole thing is the attention it gets here in Rio de Janeiro. When I take my little one year old on a walk through our neighborhood he normally gets the sterotypical 'he's so cute' or 'look at that blond hair'. It's really quite sweet how people love to stop and coo over him.

Then there's the older women. I'm talking about the ones between 70 and 90. They can't help themselves. It's their nature, culture, age, something... They have to get a little dig in there. It all starts with a 'oh what beautiful eyes' and then, once you smile all proudly, they reach over and touch your elbow oh so softly. That is the moment of doom. They drop it 'But he has a gimpy arm there. You've got to watch it'

Watch it what? Gimp? And the nerve! Who are you to say that about my son?! Ok, you are about 103 years old and survived bad inflation, numerous currency changes, a military dictatorship, a revolution, and children of your own just to name a few. It did throw me off though. How do you respond to that? Thank you?

The first time I tried to defend my child's arm. I told her 'no, it's only when he walks. He uses it normally otherwise.' to which I only received a slight shake of her head and eyes full of pitty. I actually questioned myself as my son continued towards the park walking like RuPaul.

I watched her walk away and realized that she had stopped only to mention my son's arm wasn't normal. Only in Rio would someone stop you to point out that your son is slightly retarded, or so they think. And you have to love the casual way in which they say it. She could just as well had said watch out there's a step coming up or your shoe is untied. But no, she was saying my kids arm was lame.

So as I said before, the first time threw me off. The second time was interesting and I hardly noticed the third. By the time my husband's grandmother said it I just looked at her and said 'Sure, yeah, I know'.

And that is the truly amazing thing about living in Rio de Janeiro. You honestly learn to let something go in one ear and out the other. My mother has been trying to teach me how to do this since I learned how to be offended. It took having a child in Brazil to make it sink in. It was immersion that did it.

Just bring your 3 month old to Rio and take him/her out for a walk without socks. You will be attacked by little old ladies. Try it. I dare you!