It all started with one comment made by my husband. I do believe he realized it too, right after he said it.
It wasn't his fault really. We had a rough start to a busy day. For starters, we have a 1 yr old with diarrhea. That means that I was up most of the night with him and my husband got up early with him so that I could get some sleep. Mom up at night + Dad up super early = two exhausted adults.
I was kind of complaining about everything I have to do and how exhausted I am today. Daniel, being the helpful and caring husband he is, told me not to worry. He knows I'll figure everything out and get plenty of time to sit on the couch.
Seems innocent enough, doesn't it. Not at that moment. At that moment he was saying that all I do is sit on my ass. Funniest part is that he totally got that right after he finished saying couch. But the damage was done.
We went back and forth and he declared the fight open with the oh so famous words "And you don't think my job is hard?!"
Gloves were on and we were in our corners. The contest had started. Who has it worse?
Sitting here in my unbiased thinking chair, neither one of us. The grass is always greener. I do think I have a bit more manual labor going on at my job, which I so classily pointed out by saying he's not a miner or anything. He sits at a desk! I'd kill to sit at a desk all day some days!
He does have a lot more pressure at his job. If I slack and feed the kids chips for dinner, no one is going to say anything to me. Not that I'd tell anyone! He has deadlines, meetings, politically correct conversations, dress shoes, and a boss. Hmmmmm
Point being. This is a winless argument where everyone just ends up going on with their day feeling like crap. It's hard for him because he's at work all day and doesn't really get to relax when he first gets home. It's hard for me because I don't leave the house without children and can't relax until late evening.
Eh, it is was it is. I'd hate to have to spend the entire day away from my kids. I know Daniel hates that too... Damn it. There's a slight chance that I could be wrong here. Let's just keep this our little secret.
Been there. With the aggravant that my husband does not sit on a desk, sometimes he's standing up for hours during surgery or driving back and forth to see his patients, or even putting shoulders back on place with the only help of his muscles, which makes my points much harder to make. But still, there are the times where we'd kill just to get our noses out of the house ALONE and talk to strangers we can get angry at without feeling guilty, or make mistakes without having to worry that's going to affect them for the rest of their lives or their stomach in the next 24hs. Hell, sometimes I just want to go out to some club at night, make out with 5 different guys, drink my ass off, sleep in the next day and wake up with a massive hang over and just stay in bed until it's night again.
ReplyDeleteI'd love to be able to go out to a bar, drink with my friends without thinking of how the next day will be, and then stay in bed all day watching movies...
ReplyDeleteok,ok, so you're much better behaved than I am. I am fully able to disconnect and go have drinks with friends in a bar, as long as I know she's in capable hands. I just go in full conscience that the next day will be a bitch, but worth the effort every once in a while. But I can totally relax and get wasted, come back in the early hours, no heavy conscience on me, bc I know I deserve a break every once in a while, just won't have the next day in bed.
ReplyDeleteSee I get all nervous come 11pm. I need to stop it. It's gotten so bad that my friend Sandi makes a joke of it
ReplyDeleteOh I know that, I've been to a couple of beers with you and we inevitably left at your curfew. Have some faith in Daniel, if things get ugly he'll probably call. Next time we should make you drink some more, so that come 11pm you're so wasted you won't remember to check your watch.
ReplyDeletehahahaha, good plan. We just have to wait about a year or so and you'll be down
ReplyDeleteOmg, I hear you, I've been there so many times...same thing. I am from California, married to a Carioca for 6 years now, 4 year old son...I have to stop myself sometimes to avoid these arguments because otherwise they are too often. I have to remind myself how lucky I am to be able to stay at home and give my child that kind of upbringing with a Mommy around 24/7, most of my friends in the US would kill to do this. But nights out are essential and if 2 weeks pass "sem"...I'm not a happy camper. We work hard, harder than they can imagine. But you have to choose battles and try to put on a happy face most of the time if you want a happy home. Not easy (especially when you are married to a carioca) but this stage won't last forever. Hang in there! I will tell myself the same thing. = )
ReplyDeleteI hear you! lol. Do you live in Flamengo?? We should meet up for a night out!
ReplyDeleteHi! I live in Leblon but I drive to Santos Dumont airport about 3-4 times a week to drop my hubby off, so I'm in that area quite often. We SHOULD meet up, I think we have loads in common. I'll send you a pm with my info. bjss
ReplyDeleteHi Stephanie - if you happen to read this, I'm also an American SAHM. Have a 2 year old girl. We're moving to Rio in the very near future, and we're thinking of living in Leblon, too. Maybe we can meet up with Rachel sometime once we get settled in Rio? Anyone know if there's an American (or anglophone) moms group in Rio?
ReplyDeleteThere are a couple Jean. There's one in Ipanema and one over here in Flamengo. I'm sure there are more but those are the two I'm aware of
ReplyDelete