Monday, November 22, 2010

Bra Science

For those of you non-bra wearers or males, finding the correct bra is a science. It's like the neuroscience of the breasts.  And finding one in Brazil is even more of a headache.

I had only just figured out bra science of the US. The whole cup and rip cage stuff. Imagine my surprise when I came down here and saw that bras were in one size and that was a 40, 44, or something like that.

What about the cup? Isn't the actual boulder holder part of the bra the most important? And there is no size for that?!  

I think that is why many women in Brazil suffer from the ever serious problem called Quad-boob.  As much as most of you males think that 4 boobs would look great. I mean, the more the merrier, right?

Wrong! It's like S&M of the breast, only no pleasure... not that I imagine S&M is pleasurable in and of itself.

These poor breast look like caged tigers trying to escape the circus.  It's a horrible tragedy, especially in the eyes of this small breasted woman.  If I had girls like that, they would be cupped and caressed by their bra, equally balanced between display and support.  

But this bra plight is not just with the large breasted Brazilian woman. The bra of the small breasted is even worse. We're talking fields and fields of cotton being used to fill the mounds they call cups.  They are so padded I can hardly fit my half sized girls in them.  And we can all tell it's all stuffing. I really don't feel comfortable walking around looking falsely aerodynamic.

Of course I could go into the fancy underwear shops in the mall. I did once. I had the same problems and I really didn't appreciate a R$200 price tag. The girls did, however, look fabulous. The stuffing is made of much better cotton in the fancy stores.  It was one of those bras that would make a guy pick a girl up in a bar and then wonder where her breasts went once he took her home. Gosh, that brings me back to my twenties...

Anyway, this girl has stopped her half-assed Brazilian bra hunt and judgments over quad-boob.  It's not their fault!  They are only a product of their bra surroundings.  Luckily, I get to go home and buy overpriced bras in my own country.  It's ok though, I'm willing to pay extra for the cup size and professional sizer.  A girl only gets one set of breasts, until she manages to save up to buy some new ones, so it's best to take care of them.


  1. I recently had a US friend visit and she LOVED the hair salons, to help tame her locks. But she found NOTHING in the bra departments in shops to help her with her sizable girls.

    Yesterday I saw a woman on the street who definitely needed some super-sized assistance - but alas she was toting around a tray of jello busting out in every direction. She seemed to be wearing the usual padded bra. Padded? She was exploding all by herself.

    Although - I do like it when Anna Maria Braga has a bra fitter on her morning show and they give a very explicit lesson on how to fit for a perfect bra. -- Never so explicitly in America.

  2. Tell me about it! Sometimes I feel like I need to stop, drop, and roll to avoid certain things flying around.

    Oh, they should have her on Oprah and do a Brazilian style fitting!

  3. If S&M isn't pleasurable... why do people do it?

  4. Well, it's not pleasurable to me but it could be to others

  5. I like your boobs!!!!!!!! RAAAUWCH


  7. I ll be watching it 24h/24!!!!! :P