Tuesday, November 23, 2010
My Bank Hates Me
Now, not only are my Mother, 4th grade teacher, English students, and my husband complaining about my penmanship, it's also my bank.
Apparently, our bank has informed my husband that they will no longer be accepting checks written by me because my signature is too inconsistent. I'm all about bank safety but this is just ridiculous. I guess my signature has been straying and straying from the one they have on file to the point that it's not recognizable.
And that is what gets me here. Signatures are SUPER DUPER important in Brazil and they have to be perfect every time. I practically get stage fright every time I hold a pen. I have to pump myself up, I think I can, I think I can, I think I can! And sign!
Alright, there is a reason. There's a lot of theft here and they do, as far as I know, have far less incidences of identity theft in Brazil. Could you imagine stealing someone's identity here?! It would be hard core. You'd need finger prints, knowledge of their official signature, friends to vouch for any official signature with their registered official signature. You'd need their CPF (Brazilian version of SS #) and ID, and your first born child as an offering to the Cartorio Gods.
It's not just signatures either. Heaven forbid you misspell a word on a check. Throw it in the trash! No little scribble and re-write. Trust me, I know. My kids' school has to call me about 50% of the time to come in and re-write tuition checks for some little reason or another. Rachel, there is no U in dois. Rachel, Rio de Janeiro goes before the date. Rachel, you tried to only pay us R$2,00. I swear that last one was a mistake.
It's all a bit overwhelming for this girl. Hell, I used to sign my credit card recipes with different celebrity names just to prove that my US credit card didn't check signatures. And, you know what, they didn't! Bob Hope, Jackie O, and Bill Clinton have used my card, just to name a few.
So I guess I'm off to the bank to double check what the official signature is. I'm ADD when it comes to signature. They change on an hourly basis and basically consist of different levels of scribbles. Maybe they'll let me do an X, it'll just make all our lives easier.