Sunday, March 6, 2011

Husband for Sale

So I woke up this morning with an urge to sell my husband to gypsies. Actually, I was willing to trade him for a pair of cute but old shoes at that point.  And it was really over nothing huge or shocking. No one said anything inappropriate and nothing was thrown.

He was just freaking annoying! So freaking annoying this morning when we woke up that he's lucky I didn't have an old moldy sock to stuff in his mouth out of spite.

And the mood-breaker this morning was something I had been waiting for. I do give Mr. Rants props for holding it in for so long. But it finally escaped this morning. He busted out the 'I'm going to have the kids for 2 days alone!' whine.

For starters, he's not going to be alone. He's going to his Mother's house. He has her Mommy pants pressed and waiting to put on the moment my boys get out of the car.  He also has his father, brother, and sister-in-law.

Let's then go to the fact that I have the kids ALL the time! 24 hrs 7 days a week of kid and family fun for this Mommy. Heaven forbid I take a 2 day breather to actually have an identity of my own.

But you know, all this isn't completely responsible for annoying me.  Well, not all that much anyway.  I do have the kids all the time so we have a great routine. We are a well oiled 3 person machine.  Mr. Rant leaves for 10 days, or on business, and is missed but it doesn't rock the boat. Mommy gone is like paddling around hidden mines. Maybe not so dramatic but I can be self-important that way.

You see I was already annoyed when we went to bed because we had one of the famous battles of strength between my MIL and I, and she wasn't even aware of it.  My Dear Mr. Rant enjoys enforcing these things for her.  It went something like this:

Me: I don't want you guys to take the boys to that.
Him: I know but it won't be an issue.
Me: But it is an issue because it makes me nervous. Anyway, the boys don't enjoy it.
Him: I know they don't but my Mom really wants to go
Me: But Chatter box only whines to go home at these places and Clown tries to run away
Him: I know.
Me: So?
Him: *laugh* So I'll see what my Mother wants to do.
Me: *laugh* So maybe you should just start sleeping with your Mother if you are so concerned about what she thinks...

Ok, last sentence didn't bust out in that kind of smoothness but I wish it did. And don't get me wrong, I dig that son/mother love and everything. I have boys and I hope that my son takes my side occasionally. But not unquestionably.

There should be boundaries and Mr. Rant is in charge of setting those boundaries. No, they are not allowed to show up right at bedtime after a long day, or the middle of lunch, or for only 5 minutes so the kids cry when they don't stay to play.  No they can not give your kid ice cream at breakfast. It is our husbands' job to help their Mothers find these obvious but apparently elusive lines between absurd and tolerable.

Regardless, this is not going to happen. The son just does not feel the Mother is doing anything wrong, even if the wife disagrees. It's a 'not a big deal' situation. Even if all involved followed my simple 5 point plan, the force of the MIL and son are too strong.  There are some points of life that one can not battle.

And I'm ok with that. I don't even get that annoyed with the whole thing. A bit of ice cream with one breakfast, while it makes my stomach churn to think of it, will not kill anyone.  My issue is when Mr. Rant chooses sides.  I strongly believe that in a debate over the children/home, husbands should side with their wives and not their Mothers.

Personally, I hope my sons can one day say to me "Mom, I know you think that this is great but it's not really necessary/good/enjoyable for our children and/or my wife doesn't think it's a good idea"

I'll respond by saying "That whore is so annoying!"


  1. What great story i love this post and i will say to thank you for the posting.

  2. Great story by posting you its very useful for the visitors and I think your job is perfect.

  3. Wow Amazing and lovely story really wondering this post.

  4. Tenho te achado tão carioca ultimamente! hahahah

  5. I'm gonna make my husband read this and let YOU do all the talking!!! Nothing else for me to say (except that we all seem to have pretty much the same issues with our significant others).

  6. your one cool cat wish I was chill as you.