The Mind Game of Rio de Janeiro Real Estate

Photo by: http://www.mynatour.org/econews/greener-living-recycled-buildings

Rio de Janeiro real estate is not the same as at home. I hear plenty of foreigners talk and/or bitch about it.

Let me break it down for you. Most likely, you are going to live in a shoe box. It could be a very nice and expensive shoe box with a good floor plan and closet space, but it's still a shoe box. Think of it like a double wide trailer only stacked on top of each other, and the double wides cost extra.

At home we are used to space. We have OUR rooms that no one goes into. That was my first point of adaptation. When you have a bunch of family in your house no room is sacred. The stereo is in your room so of course people are in sitting on your bed jamming out to the new Foo Fighters. Violation at home and makes total sense here.

New culture, new rules. As adults the bedroom does become private once again but children's rooms are up for grabs and kids will go in anything without a lock. Yes, that does include closets and refrigerators.

People, space is limited. I think that's why Brazilians like their families so much more than Americans and Brits. It's a biological survival mechanism. If you don't like someone living with you it's only a matter of time until they get killed off.

And we can't forget the help. Most households add in an extra person at least Mondays through Fridays.

The funniest thing is that the foreigners seem to have the most spacious apartment.  Let me qualify, the foreigners with money and the Brazilians with money.  I can't say much because mine is also pretty sweet, although not as much as some.  But we foreigners are so used to houses, amenities, and private space that we easily get culture shock the moment we enter into a building here. Hell, don't even get me started on the claustrophobia experienced in the doctor's office!

I mean, there's no space on the sidewalk, why would there be in the buildings! But the hardest part is that people move here and have to look for an apartment. Looking for an apartment in this city is like looking for a golden needle in a pile of cow dung. Honestly, I would pay money to get a peak at the minds of half of Rio de Janeiro's architects.

So before the games, I suggest a Rio de Janeiro Foreigner halfway house apartment complex.  The apartments will be almost double the size of a normal apartment in Rio de Janeiro but have one little twist. Maybe the wall in the living room will be slanted slightly, or you won't be able to open both the oven and the fridge at the same time because they are too close.  There will definitely only be one bathroom besides the "maid's" bathroom.

Yes, most apartments the size of a closet still have a tiny separate bathroom for the help.

Anyway, it'll be a picture into these little things that you face in apartment hunting here. For example, a garage with a huge drip over your spot or a neighbor who throws cigarettes and condom wrappers on your balcony. A slight picture into real life. Here we live too close to be able to ignore one another.

Let's prepare them for this! It's only fair! Oh, I almost forgot, they will also be required to make daily copies of random documents and bring them in to an office at times that they aren't there anyway. Then they have to figure out, on their own, how to get these documents to the designated person!

And go! Rio de Janeiro scavenger survival game.

But on a serious note, this isn't a bad thing. While it takes time to get used to the lifestyle here, it's one that will definitely make you grow.  There's no way of not looking at yourself when your annoyed husband is staring at you like a pissed off and gassy mirror. There is nowhere to hide.

So adapt. Try it out. And do it Carioca style, get out of the house. Cariocas are not the biggest homebodies in the world. Go to the beach, go meet friends in the plaza, and definitely go to the small Brazilian apartments of friends. Use your home for what it's supposed to be for. It's a place to lay your head, fill your belly, and hose of the nasty.