Photo by: http://www.moxiebird.com
There are 4 million more women than men in the country of Brazil! As for the state of Rio de Janeiro, there are 1 million more!
Houston we have a serious problem.
People say that Brazilian men cheat and can be chauvinistic. Well wouldn't you be if you were the one in short supply and high demand. Hello, it's basic sexual/relationship economics. There are just far too many tacos to fill people.
Luckily for all of us I have the solutions to our problem. Yes, solutions because something as dire as this can not be fixed easily.
For starters, Brazilian men have got to stop bringing in foreign women. I know I fall under that umbrella but I have popped out 2 additional Brazilian men. I feel that they could possibly make up for my husband's actions.
Next we women have to start working Brazil in 2 year shifts. I will make a call to the US, Canadian, and British consulates and explain our situation. We will divide ourselves into 3 groups and every 2 years you are required to travel for 2 years. Think of it as keeping the population new and fresh.
As for an effort to fix the problem, not just treat the symptoms of it, we are going to start a lesbian movement. Lesbians of Brazil it's time to step up your game. We women confuse easily, use it to your advantage and take one for the team.
Mr. Rant was kind enough to off another suggestion, that's what husbands are for after all. He suggests polygamy under the understanding that there must be an amiable relationship among the wives. While I appreciate his effort to help, I don't really think the women of Brazil can pull this one off. Let's just say that there's an alpha dog situation among a woman and her maid, what the hell is going to happen with another wife?!
Lastly, and most drastically, the importation of men. I think this could be a big money maker for the right company but they have to work on their angle. Women in Brazil expect certain qualities in their men. To make things easier for these future business people, please refer to the chart on this post: Yes I'm Writing About Penises
This is going to be a group project people! If one of us drops the ball, everyone drops the ball. And I know that all of you want to hold the ball but please just wait your turn and you'll get your chance. We have a shortage on our hands!
I will GLADLY volunteer for a 2 year shift! And I already have done my homework ahead of time as I even have a man waiting for me! Just need to get to him! LOL
ReplyDeleteYeah, I know...I'm a foreigner so I probably woudln't help the situation though. :P
Love this.
ReplyDeletekkkkkkkkkkkkk, loved the post! I laughed a lot! We will help grow the movement of lesbians in Brazil, so it'll be more fair to all because we have the largest gay community in south america! kkkkkkk =P
ReplyDeleteI like Mr. Rant's suggestion. As to your importation theory...ha ha ha. Well, after all, I am half Jamaican - we don't need no stinkin' chart. LOL!
ReplyDeleteLOL!!
ReplyDeleteWell, we're very monogamous, so we promise not to diminish the pool next year when we visit! And we're already talking Rio up amongst our gay girlfriends...
Polygamy and lesbianism, awesome. Plus it would be public policy, done for the common good, hence diminishing any sort of Catholic guilt.
ReplyDeleteYou did overlook one possible remedy for this problem though: giving a shout out to that favorite superhero of all women.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XBhlyXQeAL0
This is too funny! lol...
ReplyDeleteOh boy - them women need help, on my way :-)
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear you guys liked it! Danielle, I think we may have figured out that girl's problem.
ReplyDeleteI think the solution is to transplant the disproportionate male populations of China and India to Brazil. That would solve the problem.
ReplyDeleteJanet, that would be a great idea if there wasn't one problem. Please refer to the penis chart on the above link ;)
ReplyDeletecount me in for teaching brazillian lesbians time-tested techniques for using ALL the many advantages they have.
ReplyDelete