Baby fever hit me yesterday. While it may not come as a shock to close friends and family (all who say I have another one in me), it's a shock to me!
It happened when my 4 year old said he wanted his own baby. I thought he literally meant his own. He meant for me to have one and thus it would be his. He said, and I quote "If I had my own baby I would be able to touch, cuddle, and kiss him whenever I want." Back story: A friend of ours has a 3 month old whom he's obsessed with.
Seriously, that would be enough to light the fire for most Moms. And it did get me thinking. My boys are growing fast, I'm a young Mom, I'm never going to get to sleep again, and I have no money. Having a baby would only continue the ongoing trend.
Problem is that I live in Rio de Janeiro. I've always imagined 3 children being hell here. Let's be honest, my "large" apartment is tiny once you add children, private schools cost a small fortune, and general kiddie keep up costs are double the norm down here.
None the less, I'm imagining a huge belly, unsafe sex with my husband, and long nights breastfeeding paired with early mornings with preschoolers.
I have officially gone mad!
Don't get all scared for me just yet. I am hormonal this week. I also suffer from phases of baby wanting, although this is the strongest yet.
But it just isn't practical.
Well neither is marrying a man you've lived with for 2 months, moving to Rio de Janeiro with him, and taking up blogging. Oh baby, the cards are really stacked up on both sides aren't they.
Obviously though, I need my husband to support this. While he may, out of general man-weakness, agree to let me siphon out the goods and do it myself, I really don't think he'd consciously support this baby idea.
What the hell am I thinking anyway?! I'm on the verge of parental freedom! My youngest is out of diapers and entering pre-schoolerhood in the next year. My oldest already knows I'm far less cool than everyone else. I'm almost semi-interdependent.
What do you think? Is baby #3 a crash and burn idea or just another part of life in the fast lane? Should I go for freedom or add another couple of years to my life-sentence?
Well, I'm only gonna be where you are now by the time I'm too close to 40 to publicly share, so out of all the items you want to put under the "Mr Rant gets a Vasectomy", don't you be putting age there!
ReplyDeleteps. I cal lend you my baby to kinda scratch that itch, but he's so damn adorable it might just push you over the edge ;)
What is the later most date for you to make this decision?
ReplyDeleteWhy not dot a timeline for all you wish to accomplish in the next 10 years, then take into account your baby ambitions and see if they are compatible with your non baby ambitions?
Hiya Rachel, can I live vicariously and say DO IT!!!!! x
ReplyDeleteAndrea- your baby would totally push me over the edge! :)
ReplyDeleteGritty- way to be practical! I have a general idea of my 10 yr timeline and another baby would make a serious bump in it. While I am craving one now, I know that we should wait another year and see how things flow. The way things are going, I think life will be much calmer a year from now.
Rebecca, If I do it you can totally live vicariously!
How is Mr. Rants salary trajectory?
ReplyDeleteIf you go for it -- start a pig right now!
Jeff and I were having this conversation last night. I think I will always theoretically want another baby but it just isn't practical, for so many reasons
ReplyDeleteI say do it!
ReplyDeleteI have baby fever too!! I soooooo want another (although we currently only have one, and honestly - right now can't AFFORD daycare for two kids at this point, so it's not happening unless something else does financially - in a good way) *sigh* my Hubs is not on board with the idea right now either... which doesn't diminish my longing... also, seeing Goose absolutely FAWN over her new 10 week old cousin this past weekend, totally reinforced that she would be an AWESOME big sister - and I think having a sibling would be awesome for her as well... and of course, does not DETRACT from the baby fever boiling through my veins... hey, if it's baby fever, should we be taking "baby aspirin" ?? ;) ha. hilarious. or not ;)
ReplyDeleteRach!!! I knew it!!!! DO IT! you guys make the cutest babies ever, plus i bet Daniel would love a sweet little daddy's girl to add to his brood :)
ReplyDeleteLet me know if you pop a belly and I'll send you back the baby carrier you lent us!
Beijos and start getting busy!
Meli
Can you guarantee a girl?
ReplyDeleteOh, how I'd love another one as well. I think. Well most days. Then others maybe not so much. Wouldn't an uplanned pregnancy be perfect. Then it's like the decision was made for you. That's what I am hoping for. The 0.01% chance that my Mirena will fail.
ReplyDeleteJim, future salary knowledge would be nice... As for guaranteeing a girl, I hear that riding on top helps. I'm sure Mr. would like that!
ReplyDeleteThey really should invent "baby aspirin!" and failing birth control would make the choice easier. Of course, we are one of those religious with our birth control couples so I doubt that'll happen. If so it'd be an intervention by God. Who can argue with that!
I say do it!
ReplyDeletePeople gasp at the thought that we have one child (and she's 7). I often think that's too much of an age gap. I don't have to get up every 2 hours, carry a diaper bag,etc. However,the thought of having another child for reasons beyond by own selfishness keep me changing my mind every week.
BTW- I like the idea of an "intervention by God". =o)
Absolutely do it!
ReplyDeleteThe more the merrier :)
Rach you are sooooooo young so another one now would mean the hardest years would be over by the time you're 35! And 35 is still young! At 35 you would still have more than half your life ahead of you. And even if you wait a few years, again, the hardest years would be over by the time you're around 37. Still young!
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, you are close to being relatively "free" in a few years, so just ask yourself if you're seriously willing to put off your relative freedom for a few additional years.
Tough decision. I remember a post you did a while ago (in December when you were in the US, I believe?) when you said you were done with two. Funny how these things change, eh? ;-))
Go for it !If you wait until you're ready,you'll never have another one.I'm a mother of 3 myself(two of which being unplanned)and my younger one,-a girl after two boys,has a 9 a 13 years difference from my older kids.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy while you're still young and fertile.Later on it may be harder(and riskier) to try for another baby.Plus,believe in your instincts.If you're thinking about having another baby,it may be nature telling you that you should.
Carpe diem !
I think I'm going to have to tell Mr. Rant that the crowd has spoken... ;)
ReplyDeleteJean- yes, I really do go back and forth! But I seriously thought I was done
The crowd has spoken! If i lived in Rio I would totally babysit, I do NOT want a baby now but I sure need the fix every once in a while.. go for it =)
ReplyDelete