Thursday, June 30, 2011

The Rich Ban Babies!

So some people have their panties in a bunch because some Malaysia Airlines flights will not be allowing babies in first class. Can you blame them?

Babies are little poop, pee, smell, and tear inducing creatures. I can tell you this because I have two. And as a Mother, I do not find this offensive at all. My kids are great travelers but that doesn't mean I get excited about being trapped in a airplane with them for 12 hours. Why would anyone else?

On top of that, people expect to get what they pay for. Each and every time I get my meal in coach on an international flight, I have to fight the urge throw it into someone's face. My $1200 ticket bought me this crap?! Now think of the person who spent $4000 plus and has Mom shhh-ing her baby as they scream the entire flight.

This whole thing actually reminds me of a story a friend once told me of what she saw in first class one day. A woman was sitting in first class and her Nanny, baby, and dog were sitting in coach. The flight attendant informed her that she could not have both the baby and the dog sitting with the nanny. The woman was going to have to choose one to keep up front with her.

Most would think the Mother would choose her child. As a Mother, I totally guessed the Dog (not that I would make the choice but if the woman has her Nanny and kid already in coach...)

What did she choose? The dog! She left the kid in coach and brought the dog up with her! I just hope she put the money she saved on that flight right into a savings account for her kid's future therapy bills.

The thing is, I think airlines are going about this the wrong way. Instead of just focusing on separating the two groups of babies on the plane (VIPs and babies), they need to make planes more child friendly. For example, get bigger pillows that are just for children. That way they can get more comfortable and settle in better. Show cartoons as people are boarding. Have non-itchy blankets. Provide a mini-pack of crayons and a airline themed coloring book. Have two choices of snacks and meals for children. I know it's a bitch but if you win over the kids you get the entire family for life, whether you want them or not.

Let's figure this out people. Children aren't going anywhere. As long as sex is still fun, there will be babies.

Does this piss you off or does it make sense?


  1. Makes sense to me...and I even avoid the back part of coach because they put most of the little guys there and the little guys parents frequently ignore them and let them bang the seats...maybe it's because they aren't patience extends to mine and the amazings and the adorables

  2. I would have taken the dog too. Airlines are just not made for anyone but the superrich these days, that can afford the luxoseats. The rest of us sweat it out in germ infested coach, praying the cooties don't stick.

    Thank goodness for earbuds and Dramamine.

  3. Rachel,

    Your ideas make total sense!
    You are way smarter than me and by far more creative, not to mention you have experience with children and have a much kinder bigger heart than what I do. :(
    My ideas always revolved around drugging children somehow to put them out for the entire flight, give them the "Dentist Gas", Tylenol PM, whatever, just get them out of their misery and make them rest comfortably to keep everyone sane!
    I know my ideas are not popular, at least not among parents. ;)
    The good news is that I have never seen children of ANY age at First Class or even Business Class, and I do travel often. I might have traveled with children at Business or First, but they were probably too well behaved ( because they were very comfortable ) and went completely unnoticed.
    The reality of the situation is that First and Business are too expensive and either you are a RICH OLD PERSON or you are traveling on Business, so young parents with children rarely ever can afford First Class or Business Class.
    But I can totally see why the Asian Airlines wants to ban children from the upper classes, can you imagine paying those absurd fees and having to put up with insanity?? Not fair. I am totally with the Airline, get children back to coach and make them more comfortable too, why not!


  4. wow, where did you hear kind this story. Therapy, that's right. Who buys their worker, dog and baby a coach seat and then flies first class??? I'm surprised she didn't have the nanny up there with her (to be waited on hand and foot) and the ditch the dog in the baby back in coach.

  5. I can see both sides and, even as a mom, it does not offend me that an airline is banning babies from First Class. As already said, if you have kids, chances are you don't have the money to fly First anyway!

    I also agree with you about helping make the flights more kid-friendly, but the realist in me thinks that will never happen, at least on an American-owned airline, because it involves paying for things like coloring books, crayons, rights to cartoons, and paying MORE for things they already get cheap, namely the blankets and pillows.

    Now that I think about it... I can see this leading to adult-only vs. family-friendly flights. I am positive airlines could even charge more for an adult-only flight and many would pay it.

  6. If the family can afford it then why not? Shouldn't the parents have the right to be comfortable too? Not that I can afford it for myself or unborn child but coach sucks ass and if I could afford it I would want the right to be able to fly business. If anyone needs the extra comfort it's someone that's a parent.

    If all airlines go forward with this movement then they need to also put height restrictions on the emergency exit rows. Give purchase preference to those over 6'2".


  7. As a father who has suffered through two little ones on a flight, I have total sympathy for those who suffer through other people's crying kids.

    That said, I believe if you are paying for 1st class fare, you SHOULD be entitled to a quiet environment.

    I am still waiting for someone to invent an "Instant Sleepy Time" styrette for little ones. I swear, anyone who produces and markets such a product would be a billionaire in no time! The applications would be outstanding.

  8. I just heard the other day that some Air France flights actually have one designated crew person to tend to children during international flights. Too bad I was never on one of those flights!

    I totally get the idea of expecting to get what you pay for if you fly first class.

    As a mom of a 3 year old, I see the other side, too. Make economy more bearable somehow! Just like you said, Rachel, improve the comfort factor and kids may settle in easier, fall asleep faster, etc.

    But alas, as always, it does come down to money. I predict that if parents would like some extra amenities to make the flight more comfortable for their little ones, they will have to pay extra fees. It wouldn't surprise me!


  9. It's about time someone stood up to that entitled minority: babies. They get food, clothing, toys and boob without having to break a sweat. Man who gets boob for free?
    Someone has to go Rosa Parks on these oppressors, they should ride in the back of the bus and not us. Either that or put them back in cribs where they belong.
    I often feel like I'm entering this when I board a flight.

    Eu quero silêncio e boob!

  10. I've heard about that too Jean... I wish they had those on flights between the US and Brazil!

    Gritty- you and every other man!

  11. I think you're ideas about making planes more child friendly are brilliant! It would help make EVERYONE'S flight a much nicer experience. And I'm pretty sure the kids wouldn't be the only ones appreciating the cartoons :-)
    And yep, I agree with banning the babies from first class. I'm sure I sound harsh, but to me, it's the same as not taking your baby to a Michelin star restaurant, that's what Chilis is for.

  12. It seems to me that when I was younger kids DID get little foodies from the crew: crayons and airline coloring book. Some kids got a small model of the plane, some got flight wings they could pin on their clothes. I remember there being a small plastic bag of goodies for child passengers.

    But I imagine this was dumped as they tried to make financial ends meet. Now it's no more free coctails on international flights and you even pay extra for an exit row seat...

    And since when can a dog be in the passenger compartment!?

  13. small dogs and cats are allowed in the passenger compartment

  14. My cats were not allowed in the cabin!:( Anyway, I agree the airlines should have more child friendly things ie: crayons, coloring books, games. Like Jim mentioned, I remember when airlines had such stuff. Honestly, flying is no longer a pleasure for me, I can't imagine what kids feel on such long flights. So far, most flights from the US to Brazil with babies and kids, have been fine. One exception, was a rowdy school group of teenagers from Rio to the States, screamed and kept jumping out of their seats, during the whole flight, while the chaperone sat there and did nothing! Even the captain got on the speaker and told the kids to remain in their seats! A parent stood up and told the kids to behave because her child was sleeping. First class is expensive for one person, so I can't imagine how parents would afford that. I am not a parent, and certainly can't afford first class. Flying to the states in coach is expensive enough!