10 Things I like Better: Brazil vs the US

Just wrong

I did the US vs Brazil yesterday and here is where Brazil stands against the US.

1. Coconut water. Sure it's all hip to drink coconut water now in the states but that little box does not compare to a freshly opened chilled real coconut.

2. The beach. I thought I knew the beach before Brazil but I was so wrong. Brazilians do the beach the way it was meant to be done! I can't explain it because it is not a technique, it is an experience.

3. Flakiness. While I hate flakes and flaking, it is really nice to be able to flake when you really want to and not be judged. You will get a little shit initially but since everyone flakes on everyone every once in a while there is a certain flexibility to it. I can not go to a friends party and only get shit about it while on the phone with them. Buy them a beer the next time you meet and all is forgotten.

4. Big lunches. It took me a while to get used to having my main meal in the middle of the day but I have now been converted. Sure I still have a sandwich every once in a while but my body much prefers digesting during waking hours instead of trying to do it while I sleep.

5. Flip flops. Sorry folks but Havaianas are the only acceptable brand and yes you should own a variety of styles and colors.

6. Bathing suits. The bikinis may be small but you don't get a saggy butt and you look better all around (not to mention the fact that they really last!) The speedos the men use are flattering and not creepy like the Italians (no offense). That and why on Earth should men be forced to wear long baggie uncomfortable sand catching shorts? So not fair.

7. Brazilian earrings. I love them all, the expensive ones and the ones sold on the street. Sure you may have to sift through some tacky ones but you will still better your collection by far (and usually it's much easier on the wallet).

8. Delivery. You can get everything delivered! Stuck home with a sick kid? Call the pharmacy and have the medicine delivered. Call your favorite neighborhood restaurant and have lunch brought to you. Hell, go to the grocery store and then leave all your goods behind for the store to bring them over by bike. This is a big plus, especially if you cruise around with 2 little ones like I do.

9. Homemade food. Sure I miss food from home but my eating habits have improved greatly. I hardly ever use my microwave and the only frozen food I eat is previously made homemade food frozen so I can use it at a later date. That being said, I am 10 pounds lighter in Brazil without trying. Coincidence? I think not.

10. The people. No offense to my country but people here are friendlier. You can talk to a stranger's kid without being called a pedophile. Actually, if you didn't pat that random kid's head who stepped on your foot you'd more likely be called an ass. Brazilians love company, friends and family. There is always a lunch or event or random meet up. There are no "private space" issues. You kiss on the cheek hello, goodbye, and constantly use endearing terms with everyone. Brazilians just give out love and it is something the rest of the world should try.

Right

And you?

10 ways to Tell Your Children are Brazilian

1. By 2 years old they either say their team is Flamengo or they say that Flamengo is bad.

2. They willingly wear sweaters when it's 60 degrees outside.

3. They correct the Portuguese of foreigners.

4. They yell at the TV during a game with the same ease as the adults.

5. You can't manage to get them to bed before 10pm.

6. You can't manage to wake them up before 8am.

7. They give the entire 300 family members a kiss on the cheek at the family lunch without a second thought.

8. They have their park posse, their school posse, and quite possibly their beach posse.

9. Lojas Americanas is their happiest place on Earth.

10. Pão de Queijo is their breakfast of champions.

Brazilian Things that Make Me Go "Huh?"

In all the time I've lived in Rio de Janeiro there are some things I still do not get. Here's the list:

1. The obsession with babies and socks. It could be 104 degrees but their toes are cold. They've melted off and onto the sidewalk but I'll scoop them up and put them into socks if it makes you happy.

2. The one piece workout suit. Please refer to the above photo. I'm sorry but regardless of the make up and attempt at edgy accessories, the 80s are over and they want their jumpsuit back.

3. Kids at bars. No, not all bars but at some street bars. Personally, I like to drink without the company of preschoolers. Just saying.

4. That cold floors give people colds. Seriously, people say that. It gives them a cold. I thought science existed and thus stopped this kind of madness.

5. How weather changes cause colds. I thought it was pretty well known that viruses cause them. Coincidentally viruses tend to be common around the same time as fall, aka weather changing time. Am I the only one who has heard of science?

6. Coca Cola and toddlers. Why not just give them crack?! And no, the argument that they love it does not fly. How do they know what it is in the first place?! Btw, I had to practically backhand the family to keep the coke away from my boys.

7. Avocado and milk Vitaminas (smoothies). Sure, your avocados are sweet and you add sugar but it's still nasty! I'll take my avocado on a salad thank you very much. You go ahead and think I'm the crazy one.

8. Sleeping over at your adult boyfriend's parent's apartment. Talk about a walk of shame... right into the living room. It's culturally ok and my husband expects me to open the doors for our boys when they are older. FYI, this is a future blog post.

9. The live-in maid. Maybe in a mansion but in my tiny ass apartment that barely fits my collection of American Girls dolls... Did I just say that out loud? Ignore it. I'm lying.

10. Black beans with spaghetti pasta. My boys LOVE it. When they won't eat anything else, they'll eat this. It makes me gag. Oh well, Iron and Carbs...