I Was Played

I don't know if you remember my post about my standoff with Mr. Rant's Grandmother over goodie bags. If you don't, I said that I had thought that I had outsmarted her. I was sure that I had guarded those bad boys with the skill of a well oiled machine.

I should have known better. Today we had lunch with her at her apartment. At some point during the post meal digesting and chatting period the Grandma starting pulling out the toys that were given in the goodie bags. She was giving them to my boys to play with.

My guess is that she was going for the second bag when I snagged her.

Well played Granny! Well played!

The Standoff

Last night I had the standoff of my year. It was between me and the Grandmother of Mr. Rant, the Great-Grandmother of the Chatterbox.

You see, she steals goodie bags. I guess you can't say she steals them but actually takes them to give them to other random children like her maid's kids and such.

It really is a cultural thing. All Brazilians have this idea that they are entitled to a goodie bag if they should even know of a child around the age of the birthday boy. This is normally ok but I am that weird Mother who takes her kid's goodie bags way too seriously. No crap, nothing that doesn't even work when you take it out, and definitely not all candy.

This year my parents were rock stars and mailed a box of US goodies you just can't find here. We're talking sticky hands, flyers, and finger flashlights among other things. So when I managed to only make 48 goodie bags, and at least 40 kids were definitely showing up, I knew I'd have to take the Monarch down.

It's not as easy as it sounds. Trust me! When your child's Brazilian Great-Grandmother makes a request, you do not say no! For example, when she makes an effort to bring you a cup canjica she sweetly made for the party, even though it really doesn't go with your beer and hot dog, you eat it. It's just how things roll.

So when she came up and requested a couple of goodie bags I had to hold my ground. Honestly, I had to picture crying children and Mr. Rant scolding me for not being more prepared. I told her "Sorry Grandma but there may not be enough bags. More people came than expected but if any are left over I will bring them over to your place on Monday."

Of course she replied "oh but only 2. For sure 2 is ok."

"Sorry Grandma, I can't. I don't know if we have enough. I promise you will be the first to know if any are left over though!"

A short time later I finally got to leave my goodie bag post as people were not hovering over me like happy cake fed vultures.

The moment I left the table I turned back. Call it instinct, call it knowing better, call it life experience. There circling the good bag box was the Great-Grandma. She was slow, smooth, and innocent but I knew better.

When I sauntered up to the table I got the famous granny 'You may have caught me but I'm too damn cute for you to say anything grin' and she shuffled away. This much sass from an 87 yr old. I would love to have seen her at 20!

By the way, I had the perfect number of gift bags! 48 bags to 48 kids exactly! 

Vlog: Introducing Capt America

Party House: Noise like nothing else

The Menace doing his thing on the dance floor

I'm sure some of you are thinking that I'm talking about something cool like a baile funk (funk dance) or a new Rio de Janeiro club. Have you all forgotten that I have 2 children under 5 years of age?

These days my parties are ones that include balloons, even more obnoxious music than electronic, and plenty of screaming children.

I went to one of these parties last night and it was a good one as far as party house parties go. You see, here in Brazil you can rent a house that is fully pimped out to be a kid's dream and a parent's nightmare. It's like sugar and noise on crack. Honestly, I don't know what I would do with myself if they didn't serve beer in these places. Better idea yet, Valium cocktails for parents upon entry!

But the kiddos love it. Hell, what isn't to love. You can jump on everything, climb on everything, all snacks are fried or full of sugar, there are video games, and costumes are almost required. Not to mention the super lame loud children's music, 300 other kids to play with, and plenty of opportunities to lose your parents and freak them the hell out.

I have to say that I secretly do love these parties. While I lament with the other parents, I feel like a big kid while there. I eat absolutely everything. You know when you are choosing your hor d'oeuvres from the waiter's tray and you see an arm dart in, grab something, and disappear? Well, that is my arm. I am that person. It's sad, I know.

Basically you show up at these parties with empty tummies and excited children. You leave said party with exhausted children, a slight beer buzz, a goodie bag, and full tummies (aka. no dinner preparations necessary that night). Not to mention the fact that you get to mingle with other parents as the children are fully occupied.

This girl right here gives Rio de Janeiro party houses a thumbs up as fun for the whole family!
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FYI: I was interviewed by a cool fellow expat Mummy in Provence and she posted it today. Go check it out: http://www.mummyinprovence.com/having-baby-brazil