International Flying Goddess? - check

Bags are packed, kids are fed, and documents have been found.  We are heading out this evening for our long flight home.  2 hour drive to DC + check in and security + customs + 13 hours of flying time + stopover in Sao Paulo = Fun for the whole family.

I am armed with the same backpack of toys as in the picture. Yes, that Goddess you see there is me in my natural state of Damn Sexy.  I look my best when I fly internationally with children. Then again, who doesn't.

Rio de Janeiro, watch out! We're back, we're ready, and we're going straight to the pool to cool off!

I'm sure I'll find a good post on the journey.  That is, I will if I'm sane enough to remember once it's over.

Happy Hump Day and I'll see you on the flip side.

Who to Fly to Brazil, and in What Position

As packing for our return to Rio begins, I started thinking airlines. Oh, the airline you pick is as important as the condom people. There are some things you just shouldn't skimp on when it comes to quality.

Take American Airlines's from the US to Brazil and vise versa for instance.  It blows like your slutty stepsister.  I don't have enough room in my blog to explain my distaste for this airline.  I know they are the cheapest, but sometimes you have to spend a little more just based on principal.

Where does my hatred for AA come from?  Well, their service sucks, their seats suck, and basically everything sucks without anyone getting off. I just don't see the point in partaking in that kind of madness.

But the straw that broke this camel's back was on a flight back to Brazil from San Diego. I had a stop off in Houston and a layover. No biggie.  Once we got flying again, I popped my international-I-was-childless-and-could valium and was ready to float home.

Imagine my surprise when we started landing.  I thought, "Wow, Either Brazil has gotten closer or that was some damn good valium."

Nope, upon questioning I was informed that we were landing in Miami.  I told the stewardess that she must be wrong because I was not informed of this in San Diego when I checked in, nor did my old fashion envelope sized tickets say anything about an additional stop.

Oh, but didn't I know that it's American Airline's policy that they can add a stop if it is not a significant change.  I'll ask you, do you think my having to deboard and wait through an hour and a half layover was a significant change?  I sure do.

I was informed by customer service that they were in their rights to make that stop. I said "Dandy. And I am in my rights as a client to never fly you again."

Yeah so, I don't fly them.  I had always been miserable flying with them but didn't have a real reason to jump up to the next level. Well, the lack of apology did it folks. That's all it takes. A little, I'm sorry Rachel.  FYI American Airlines: Now it'd take 4 free tickets, international, thank you very much.  Call it inflation. Call it being an opportunist. I call it giving a second chance because I got free tickets. Hey, my heart ain't made of stone people.

But, back to reality.  If you are going to fly from the US to Brazil or vise versa, you should fly Continental.  I like them.  Of course it'll take like 2,000 trips to become elite.  That or I haven't gotten the special favors memo that shows you how to get bumped up more efficiently.  Not that I'm interested. Who's going to bump up a family with small children anyway?  That's why people pay to fly business and first.

Also keep in mind that United and Continental are sisters from other Misters these days. You can use miles and such and they work together. Pretty nice. This trip, we flew Continental from Rio to Houston and then United from Houston to DC.  Not too bad at all. Minus the 7 hr layover, but we saved like $1000 dollars. I can run around an airport with my kids for 7 hours if it saves me that much.

I also enjoy Delta. I find that Delta is good at giving more direct flights from the US into Rio. I know the stop in Sao Paulo isn't a big deal, but it's pretty sweet if you can avoid it.

And we must not forget Varig! I mourn the death of Varig. I'm telling you, they had super comfy seats, the flight attendants just rocked my world with kindness, and the plane was like an all night party.  It was Brazil in the air.  Not to mention, the food was better.  Oh well. You can't have it all, especially when executives are stealing from the company.

What airline do you prefer when you fly wherever it is you go?  

Pilot drops trou

I know this is old news but I can't get over how it was taken so seriously.

So a 49 yr old United Airlines pilot dropped his pants at a Rio de Janeiro security screening when asked to remove his belt.  He did keep his underwear on.

I know airports can be serious.  I know security is nothing to be messed with.  But for heaven's sake, he just dropped a little trou. He didn't spit on an officer, didn't even give him the finger. Those things should not be ignored. It's just plain disrespectful.  Dropping your pants when asked to remove your belt? So not a big deal.

My guess is that he just left Rio de Janeiro and was in the Carioca spirit.  Men here pull down their pants at a moments notice to mark their territory just about everywhere.  I wouldn't be surprised to see a priest pee on the edge of his own church down here.

Not to mention walking around most of the city in tiny little speedos.  You aren't hiding anything in those bad boys.


And how dare the pilot make a joke at a security screening. Pilots are well known for being very timid, shy, and respectful of limits.  Sorry but I'm going to have to say it, wait a minute... Yeah, no, they are pilots. They fly big iron birds around the sky and defy gravity on a regular basis.

These are people who suffer from high self-esteem and arrogance. They have to. They go through training to learn how to fly those monsters and what to do in case it starts heading down.  Personally, I'd jump ship from that vocation the moment we got to the whole, if all goes to hell everything is in your hands.

They should just be thankful he didn't mark his territory or sport an American speedo under that uniform. The American banana hammock is to the Brazilian banana hammock  as the Brazilian bikini is to the American bikini. It has a whole lot less holding things up.