Wordless Wednesday: Living Room Coming Together

Getting all set up 

 The couch should be here... sigh

Still figuring out spots for the lose ends but we're getting there

Our Tiny New Apartment!

Here is a video of our new place. Be kind :)

Rio de Janeiro Realtors: The Slow Road to Insanity

We are looking for apartments here in Rio de Janeiro and it is literally driving me insane! Oh and by 'we are looking' I actually mean I am doing the hustling.

Me, right here, I'm the find the golden nugget in the pile of poo girl for this family. And that's ok. Really, I'm a bit creepy in that I like to poke around other people's apartments. I enjoy seeing what's on the market and how people live.

So the actual physical looking isn't that bothersome. It's the male Realtors. No they are not sexually harassing me. Apparently that ship has sailed and I'm officially an old married lady.  It's the fact that they need to talk to the penis of the household.

I swear to you, if one more of these little bastards asks to call and talk to Mr. Rant "just to touch base," I'm going to hit someone. And you know what, I'm going to hit them with my penis! That's right, this girl right here is the one who has the "penis" in the household!

While my husband is a "Man," I am the woman. Happy wife = happy life. Let's face it, we women have a lot of decision power in the relationship.

And I've obviously have had it up to here with the need Realtors feel to call my husband. That's why I got annoyed with the Realtor yesterday. He was insisting that he should call and get to know my husband. Just have a little chat on the phone and invite Mr. Rant to his office. It started to sound like he was looking for a new bromance or something.

When I asked why, he said so that Mr. Rant knows who is showing me apartments. So my husband feels secure with our interactions.

Too bad I don't have a governess. Life would be so much easier.

I then asked if he thought my husband didn't trust me. It was really unfair of me, I know, but it pisses me off. At the same time, I like to blame Mr. Rant when I don't want to give a definite answer. "I must check with my husband and see if that paperwork is available." Or, "I'm not sure if Mr. Rant would approve of this street."

I kind of made my own bed except that they didn't give me much of an option. I am constantly being talked over. The moment I mention checking with my husband they actually listen to me. They say something like "oh that's correct(Portuguese translation). You do need to talk to him."

Yes, and I also need him to wipe my ass. You can imagine how bad it gets when he's on a business trip.

It's just the way this area seems to work. No matter how much I say or declare what I want, they only listen the moment Mr. Rant happens to answer the house phone and tells them the exact same thing.

To give them the benefit of the doubt, it may also be because I'm a foreigner. I have one sweet Realtor who insists on asking me  if I am understanding him after every two sentences. I've met up with him 3 separate times! You'd think at this point it'd be established that I understand what he's saying.

As frustrating as all this is, I'm really starting to think I may be a part of the problem. My so-called direct/indirect nature may not be suited for small-talk and interactions such as these.  I think I may just need to put on my big boy pants and run things my way. 

For example: No sir, you can not call my husband. I'm the one in charge! (more like he's really busy but we'll keep that to ourselves) 

Wordless Wednesday: Brazilian Floor plans

Apartment sizing and style has been under discussion recently on this blog. While enjoying one of my random hobbies of looking at floor plans, yes I really do enjoy it, I thought I should share some of them with you! A little view into Brazilian apartment living. I am attempting to post a variety of styles but do keep in mind that there are many many more!

Sorry if they aren't very clear but you get the idea.

The Mind Game of Rio de Janeiro Real Estate

Photo by: http://www.mynatour.org/econews/greener-living-recycled-buildings

Rio de Janeiro real estate is not the same as at home. I hear plenty of foreigners talk and/or bitch about it.

Let me break it down for you. Most likely, you are going to live in a shoe box. It could be a very nice and expensive shoe box with a good floor plan and closet space, but it's still a shoe box. Think of it like a double wide trailer only stacked on top of each other, and the double wides cost extra.

At home we are used to space. We have OUR rooms that no one goes into. That was my first point of adaptation. When you have a bunch of family in your house no room is sacred. The stereo is in your room so of course people are in sitting on your bed jamming out to the new Foo Fighters. Violation at home and makes total sense here.

New culture, new rules. As adults the bedroom does become private once again but children's rooms are up for grabs and kids will go in anything without a lock. Yes, that does include closets and refrigerators.

People, space is limited. I think that's why Brazilians like their families so much more than Americans and Brits. It's a biological survival mechanism. If you don't like someone living with you it's only a matter of time until they get killed off.

And we can't forget the help. Most households add in an extra person at least Mondays through Fridays.

The funniest thing is that the foreigners seem to have the most spacious apartment.  Let me qualify, the foreigners with money and the Brazilians with money.  I can't say much because mine is also pretty sweet, although not as much as some.  But we foreigners are so used to houses, amenities, and private space that we easily get culture shock the moment we enter into a building here. Hell, don't even get me started on the claustrophobia experienced in the doctor's office!

I mean, there's no space on the sidewalk, why would there be in the buildings! But the hardest part is that people move here and have to look for an apartment. Looking for an apartment in this city is like looking for a golden needle in a pile of cow dung. Honestly, I would pay money to get a peak at the minds of half of Rio de Janeiro's architects.

So before the games, I suggest a Rio de Janeiro Foreigner halfway house apartment complex.  The apartments will be almost double the size of a normal apartment in Rio de Janeiro but have one little twist. Maybe the wall in the living room will be slanted slightly, or you won't be able to open both the oven and the fridge at the same time because they are too close.  There will definitely only be one bathroom besides the "maid's" bathroom.

Yes, most apartments the size of a closet still have a tiny separate bathroom for the help.

Anyway, it'll be a picture into these little things that you face in apartment hunting here. For example, a garage with a huge drip over your spot or a neighbor who throws cigarettes and condom wrappers on your balcony. A slight picture into real life. Here we live too close to be able to ignore one another.

Let's prepare them for this! It's only fair! Oh, I almost forgot, they will also be required to make daily copies of random documents and bring them in to an office at times that they aren't there anyway. Then they have to figure out, on their own, how to get these documents to the designated person!

And go! Rio de Janeiro scavenger survival game.

But on a serious note, this isn't a bad thing. While it takes time to get used to the lifestyle here, it's one that will definitely make you grow.  There's no way of not looking at yourself when your annoyed husband is staring at you like a pissed off and gassy mirror. There is nowhere to hide.

So adapt. Try it out. And do it Carioca style, get out of the house. Cariocas are not the biggest homebodies in the world. Go to the beach, go meet friends in the plaza, and definitely go to the small Brazilian apartments of friends. Use your home for what it's supposed to be for. It's a place to lay your head, fill your belly, and hose of the nasty.

I dream of burning my husband's comics

I dream of burning my husband's comics. You see, I live in an apartment in Rio de Janeiro.  There's like 1 and a half closets.

He has like 6 boxes of them.  They are all saved for our kids.  And I had to go and encourage him by giving birth to children with penises.

I did managed to send 3 boxes to his parent's house.  They live outside the city and have a proper house.   The boxes are there.  I would have sent them all but it just looked bad.

His parents are very much parents that they encourage him to be happy. Although he never reads his comic books, they make him happy by being in existence.  I argue that even if recycled and created into new and reusable items, they still technically exist.

No dice.  If you marry a person, you have to except them for who they are. My husband is an overly organized pack-rat.  I would almost classify him as a hoarder but he does not save trash, or anything dirty mind you, and has no problem throwing my stuff out.  This is not a hoarder.

And as much as I want to be the "cool" wife, every time I open the cabinet with his comics, I get an urge to just set the entire place ablaze.  Really quite beside the point because where would be live? On the other hand, we wouldn't have any stuff to clean up.

Thank goodness I have no pyro tendencies.

And then add on top of it that Brazilians just aren't good at throwing things away. They don't like to buy used and they won't throw it out unless it literally gives them the finger and walks out the door. I wouldn't be surprised if they still followed after it screaming "but we can get you fixed! I know a guy!"

Basically, there is nothing to be done. I so sassily recommended that my husband put up a shelf in the boys' room, since the comics are for them, and line up all the comics. It'll look cool and lower the risk of molding in the humid climate.

What was his response?  'You just want the cabinet space! What will you put there anyway'

Of course, I could only answer 'Stuff.'  Sorry Rachel, wrong answer.

So, he's keeping it there to spite me.  It must be out of spite because there is nothing that this man loves more than drilling holes in the wall. Mr. Rant, I know you are out there reading this.  Go do your thing to that wall, you sexy Mr.  Drill the crap out of it!  Then put in the shelf, nice and level, just like you like it.

And how nice will those Batman, X-Men, and other comics look on display.  How jealous the other 4 year olds and your friends will be.  Their wives and Moms would never let them have that in their house.

And that readers, is how you go from wanting to burn your husbands belongings to becoming the cool wife/mother.

Live and learn baby.