Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Sex or a Baby?

Remember how I screamed baby fever from the top of the blog the other day? Well, things got worse. 

Actually, it's kind of been a work in progress, growing until it hit a peak. You see, not only has baby fever jumped up, so has my libido. 

Yes, I'm saying it here right now. I have been one horny Mommy/expat blogger. It really is getting out of control. I am at the point where I want my husband to skip out on work. I want him to miss meetings and instead head over to a motel with his wife.  Is that too much for a woman to ask?!

People, my libido thinks it's in it's 20s! It's out of control. Sex and hotness is crossing my mind all the freaking time. Ok, let me rephrase that. It's always been a regular visitor but now it has moved in next to my childhood memories and Portuguese that is used at the park. 

Imagine if those things get mixed up! It could get a bit nasty in there! 

So I came up with a plan and it's one that Mr. Rant adores.  Instead of putting my body and energy into trying to make another kid, we're going to try a different direction.

No baby this time. We're going to go for the sex! 

While I am lucky enough to say that our sex life has stayed great, minus some patches here and there, there's always room for improvement. The plan, to focus the extra energy and high libido on orgasms, more frequent trysts, and overall personal attention. 

I mean, babies are awesome. They are so the new black and I just love them to death. I may even have another in a couple of years. But really, when was the last time I got to focus on getting laid (with my husband of course). We have 2 small kids and laid can get lost in that equation. You have to rush or you have to be quiet or you feel like a cow so don't want it at all. 

Screw it, I'm going to give my body want it really wants, the action it had with Mr. Rant in it's early 20s. Ok, maybe there won't be the middle of the night poke as we normally have a kid in the bed. The first thing in the morning may also be lost because of innocent eyes wandering the apartment. 

We do have to draw the line somewhere people. 

But there will be afternoons, nighttime, and if at all possible the fabulous double feature! 

What do you do to keep your sex life fresh?


  1. The fact that you even HAVE a sex life makes me hate you already this morning! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    I left mine in Rio and Leon says I took his back to the states.

    But that's okay..Leon is suffering too so I feel a little bit better knowing this...LOL

    But I agree with you. I would TOTALLY choose sex over a baby!

    Right now, I'd choose sex over food, water, sleeping, shopping...just about anything! LOL

  2. and they say a woman's libido peaks at 40 =p

  3. Wait until your 40's...
    Vai chamar urubu de "meu louro".

  4. "What do you do to keep your sex life fresh?"

    I keep the lights dim. Unfortunately I haven't exercised in a while :-{

  5. If things keep up like the past couple weeks, I'm going to have to go to a clinic in my 40s!

    Gritty - Amen but I have started running. Hopefully I'll be able to bust out the spotlight one of these days! Then again, my attempt at sexy dance is a mood killer. Maybe the light should stay in storage!

  6. Shay - At least you are both suffering! ;)

  7. What a hilarious/relatable post, Rachel! I think personally, the 30s are a big, old "I want to jump every man's bones" decade, haha.

    As far as keeping things fresh, I think self-acceptance and self-love are important (body image and awareness). For example, I'll never have the leg length or bust size of a Sports Illustrated model, but I am what I am. It's such a cliche to say if you feel beautiful and sexy other people will think so, too, but it holds true, amazingly, and I think it's good to take that attitude to the boudoir.

    Also, since I'm an astrology geek, I love to look up my latest crush's sign in a book called "Sextrology". It's my way of gaining some (for entertainment purposes only) insight into a guy's proclivities and mentality. *

    *repeat, just for fun!

  8. Ohhh, So looking for Sextrology!

  9. It's great! Naturally, it's a ton of fun to read one's own sign, too and then read the compatibility section...

  10. Enjoy it all you can, life is too short ;)

  11. Well, some couples get a third playing party into the mix when things get slow, not that I know anything about that... :)
    Hell, we have to find ways to slow down!
    But the dinamics of sex between two men are completely different.

  12. And one day Ray, you are going to have to explain that dynamic to me ;)

  13. You asked for a plan and here's one: since you're lucky enough to have BOTH kids in school, why don't you convince him to book some bogus lunch meetings and have a slightly later lunch hour (or 1.5hr that they seem to stick to here), find a motel conveniently close to both and have random encounters.
    You can spicy it up more with any or all of the following: videos available at said motels, toys, role games (you get there beforehand, strip and blindfold yourseld and let him 'surprise' you / you tie HIM up / play at being total strangers - even think out different personalities and names). I think there's a few motels in the area and lately I keep seeing ads for the Panda Motel every-effing-where, so I'd like a review if you go!

  14. Oh oh, get him a frilly apron and a feather duster... wait, I've gone too far here.

  15. Andrea you are a dirty girl, aren't you! Your husband is a lucky man ;)

  16. ha! your libido is most definitely a 30's libido! and the baby desire strikes it up a crazy notch. even though there is no physical way we can "breed" each other, when i'm ovulating or on the months we're doing the fertility dance, i am like a fkn cat in heat for m. enjoy enjoy enjoy!

  17. I knew 30s would be a good age!

  18. Rachel, just a little side observation, but in my experience being pregnant is the biggest boost to a libido that there is. In fact, reading your blog here, made me think "she might be pregnant already!". lol