Showing posts with label vagina. Show all posts
Showing posts with label vagina. Show all posts

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Vaginas, Brazilian Waxes, and a Thing they Call Feminism


I've been reading a lot about Vaginas these days. Let's just blame Facebook and Vagina enthusiasts.

Acutally, it all started with a piece about vaginoplasty. Some crazy thing where women go to get their Vages all cut up and made "normal." Personally, I don't find this shocking at all as we live in a culture that wants to physical perfect everything. It was only a matter of time until the Vag became the next victim of the endless search for perfection and the use of material/physical means to give emotional satisfaction.

What I found shocking was the blatant attack against the Brazilian Bikini wax! I mean, sure we all like to find scape goats but leave my wax alone! Take this for example:

"And so it is that for a woman, to Brazilian wax or not to Brazilian wax becomes a feminist question. “If you wax, you pull [feminism] out by the roots, and therefore you’re no longer a feminist and you have to turn in your Feminist Membership Card,” one blogger wrote on Feministe.us."

Sorry to disappoint you but my feminism is not located in my pubic hair, nor am I making a statement by getting my anus waxed. And it gets worse.

“That leads to the key point any feminist -- card-carrying or otherwise -- must consider when deciding whether waxing is for her: For every Brazilian you get, another woman might feel more pressured to do so. Symbolically speaking, you’re not alone on that salon table, with your ankles up around your ears as you exhale with each rip of the wax strip. And that takes sisterhood to a whole new level. That’s what makes waxing such a slippery-slope of a feminist question -- it’s never going to be a feminist act, but, should you decide to get one, you need to ask yourself some tough questions to make your salon visit at least a little kinder to the sisterhood.”

Now I'm really going to call BULLSHIT on this one! Be kinder to sisterhood? Why doesn't sisterhood go take a nap and give this girl a little break. When did my Vagina become your billboard for your feminism? It's my vagina and so what if she prefers to sport a runway style. Do I give you crap if you wear old birkenstocks and armpit hair? No. To each their own.

As for the wax, personally, I do it for myself. Sure, Mr. Rant is now accustomed to a tamed bush but he would never say anything if I went retro, and I have.  I like a good Brazilian wax. It allows my Vag to freely breath, letting in the open air. I feel I'm giving her a skylight to the world.

And why does getting a wax have to be considered removing your femininity?  I feel it's quite the opposite. It's putting your femininity right out onto the table. I dare you to start comparing vaginas and you'll see a whole lot more on a waxed one, that's for sure.

So leave my Brazilian wax alone and figure something else to overly analyse and use as an excuse for shocking things happening in the world. If we keep this up, Brazilian waxes could be blamed for Afghanistan and there'd be no turning back then.

My standpoint, get it waxed and show the girl off!

As for vaginoplasty, I will let that one stand on it's own.  I can't imagine feeling such disgust for my Vaggie Girl that I would want to get her cut up.  I bet those women are coming from an interesting place and I ask you to not negate their feelings about their Vaginas by blaming society for their decisions.

On a side note, check this documentary on the search for the perfect vagina when you have a chance. It's very interesting, sad, and shocking at the same time. The Perfect Vagina 

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Embarrassing your Master will get you Extra Spanks.


It´s not always fun being the foreigner, especially when you are trying to say something. 

Other times, it´s hilarious to the non-native speaker!

Take today for example. I went to pilates class and was faced with a new teacher. A new, not bad looking, charming, and very male teacher.  Whatever, happily married with babies (but not dead thank you very much).

It was the beginning of class and I was being uncomfortably stared at... in my head.  It is his job to make sure we are doing things correctly.  He basically gets to put us in very unforgiving and sometimes sexual positions and then watch us struggle. What my immense enjoyment in this sadomasochistic exercise says about me, I do not know.  Maybe I´m just must be a pervert.

But before you judge me, what would you think if you saw me holding a bar hanging from the top of a table where I am laying down. Now I put my feet on the same bar, legs slightly spread apart, and start doing some sort of sit up right into my crotch.  I mean, my ass was just up and hanging out there.  I`m horrible but, at that moment, I really did think that this kind of table should double as a motel toy. 

Anyway, during one of my stretching exercises, I apparently didn´t do something correctly.  He asked me about holding something while I breathed out.  I had no freaking clue what he was talking about. My abs? I know I have to do a snazzy little thing with them but I thought I was already. He told me no no and then said the PC Portuguese words again.  I was still drawing a blank.

He then thought it was a good idea to point at what he was talking about.  Midway to my vagina, he decided it wasn´t a good idea. 

I was really curious after that! Am I supposed to tighten my vagina?  That really wasn´t going to help my view of pilates!

He finally seemed to find a path he was comfortable with and told me I´m supposed to tighten the thing that holds my bladder and muttered sphincter in English.

Ohhhhhhh, I totally know what that is! 

Alas, it was too late. The poor man was just as embarrassed as a 13 year old girl who got her period at the school dance.  Amazing too because, in my experience, Brazilians do not embarrass that easily. 

It took all the 2 ounces of maturity that I have not to laugh every time I thought of it. I couldn´t help myself. I would breath out, stretch, and think don´t forget your vagina Rachel! 

Hey, I said I only have 2 ounces of maturity, didn´t I! 
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