Brazilian men: Hot or Just Charming?

I ran across an old friend on Facebook the other day. This old friend comes out in my stories as being absolutely gorgeous. Seriously, I still remember thinking, every time I saw him, that he was gorgeous. Of course, the Facebook photos tell a different story.

Don't get me wrong, he's a good looking guy. The thing is, Facebook only provides the image. No charm is involved. That got me thinking, how much of Brazilian hotness is due to personality?

Honestly, Brazilian men are freaking charming! They are smoother than butter. They are smoother than a male swimmer's legs! Hell, there's a Carioca rule that if you are into the girl you try to kiss her within the first 5 minutes. You miss that window and it's all downhill from there.

Some foreigner girlfriends and I were discussing just this last week. We are all from different countries and have had experience with men from different countries as well as Brazilians. The consensus was that Brazilian men have a smoothness that we foreigners have not seen anywhere else. One minute they come to say hello, the next minute you are kissing, and the next minute you are buck naked and having sex on their dining room floor. Alright, maybe their Mother's dining room floor as a shockingly large amount of Brazilian men live at home for far too long. Whole different blog post.

It made me stop for a minute and just look at Mr. Rant. Thank goodness we have been married for almost 8 yrs now and he wastes hardly any of that charm on me at this point. (Isn't it nice how I turned that into a positive?)  Anyway, I can say that I do find him very attractive. He's hot! Phew!

None-the-less I really couldn't keep my hands off him when we met... and for like 3 years afterward. After a night with him you'd think he had created the bra hook with the ease in which he got that bad boy off!

Let's also not forget how well he handled my awkward ways. When we met he was sexy and smooth and I would say something lame. He continued to be sexy and smooth and then I would be awkward and sarcastic. There was no stopping the smooth people... and obviously it worked.

Fast forward and I married the guy. Personally, I'd like to act as if that compliments me because I caught this charming man. But let us be honest, I am living in Brazil and have learned Portuguese. The force in him is strong my friend.

If I had to compare the Brazilian charm to anything I would say it is like a top shelf tequila. It slides down so smooth you almost think you aren't drinking alcohol at all. Of course 2 or 3 sips in you are practically bar girl putty in their hands. Be warned ladies!

FYI, you can grow a tolerance to it just like tequila, and that is a good thing!

So what is more important to you, charm or beauty? Do you find Brazilians particularly charming or is it just me? 

Embarrassing your Master will get you Extra Spanks.

It´s not always fun being the foreigner, especially when you are trying to say something. 

Other times, it´s hilarious to the non-native speaker!

Take today for example. I went to pilates class and was faced with a new teacher. A new, not bad looking, charming, and very male teacher.  Whatever, happily married with babies (but not dead thank you very much).

It was the beginning of class and I was being uncomfortably stared at... in my head.  It is his job to make sure we are doing things correctly.  He basically gets to put us in very unforgiving and sometimes sexual positions and then watch us struggle. What my immense enjoyment in this sadomasochistic exercise says about me, I do not know.  Maybe I´m just must be a pervert.

But before you judge me, what would you think if you saw me holding a bar hanging from the top of a table where I am laying down. Now I put my feet on the same bar, legs slightly spread apart, and start doing some sort of sit up right into my crotch.  I mean, my ass was just up and hanging out there.  I`m horrible but, at that moment, I really did think that this kind of table should double as a motel toy. 

Anyway, during one of my stretching exercises, I apparently didn´t do something correctly.  He asked me about holding something while I breathed out.  I had no freaking clue what he was talking about. My abs? I know I have to do a snazzy little thing with them but I thought I was already. He told me no no and then said the PC Portuguese words again.  I was still drawing a blank.

He then thought it was a good idea to point at what he was talking about.  Midway to my vagina, he decided it wasn´t a good idea. 

I was really curious after that! Am I supposed to tighten my vagina?  That really wasn´t going to help my view of pilates!

He finally seemed to find a path he was comfortable with and told me I´m supposed to tighten the thing that holds my bladder and muttered sphincter in English.

Ohhhhhhh, I totally know what that is! 

Alas, it was too late. The poor man was just as embarrassed as a 13 year old girl who got her period at the school dance.  Amazing too because, in my experience, Brazilians do not embarrass that easily. 

It took all the 2 ounces of maturity that I have not to laugh every time I thought of it. I couldn´t help myself. I would breath out, stretch, and think don´t forget your vagina Rachel! 

Hey, I said I only have 2 ounces of maturity, didn´t I! 

Charming Pediatrician

I wonder if it's wrong to fall for the charms of the pediatrician.  Of course these charms are directed towards my pre-schooler and toddler but that's all the more charming if you ask me. 

I have a total mini-crush on our pediatrician. It's a standing joke in our house.  My husband says he'll know something is up when I start referring to the doc by his first name.

I just can't help it. He's rescued me from child illness drama too many times to count.  He's also a great listener, never making me feel like a nervous Mom, even if I am.  Plus he's actually attractive and charming.  Ok, so he has very typical, large Brazilian features and is slightly balding but he pulls it off. 

He's not perfect.  He's never available at the home number he gives out to his patience. It's very common in Brazil to have your ped's cell and home number so you can reach them anytime. This spells nightmare, especially here. Brazilians expect every stuffy nose and scrape to get checked out. I understand his position completely.

But he has found early bronchitis in both boys when it's been missed in ER late the night before.  He has answered medical questions while playing tennis at the club.  He has compliment fat Mommy right after baby #2. That gets a BIG gold star in my book.  This Mommy was pretty damn fat after baby number 2 and my husband is required by household law to compliment during super fat phases.  It means so much more from a non-obligated male source.

The best part though is that my kids love going to his office. I hardly ever have to battle them into going to see the doc.  When I take in my toddler, he still checks out my pre-schooler, even if he's not the scheduled appointment.  When my youngest would go in monthly as a baby, the doc would make as big of a fuss about my then toddler. He would check, weigh, and measure just as he did the little one. 

What can I say, everyone feels special at our Ped's office and that's how this Mommy likes it.