I have hit the last 13 or so days of my vacation home and my guesstimate weight gain total is about 25 lbs (11.4 kilos).
Houston, we have a problem.
I'm no ok with this. I'm fine with some weight fluctuation but it's not ok to be a little disgusted of yourself in the mirror. Hey, in my defense, I didn't know I was this vain either.
The thing is, I went head first into food upon my arrival. I had no idea that my metabolism had gotten the memo that I had turned 30 and had given birth to two babies. There you go underestimating... or overestimating, your body again Rachel.
And while I'm doing "The Firm" videos quasi daily, which I am as embarrassed to admit as you are to read, it is not working. Sadly, my DVD did not come with a lipo vacuum attachment. Now that would help you firm, not the side step and the samba for 40 minutes.
Oh the insanity of it all. I'd be fine if I were staying here where the season allows for Moo Moo sweaters to be cool under the right circumstance, but I'm not. I'm going home to Rio de Janeiro where I will have to wear a bikini. I think my stomach is going to eat it... God forbid, maybe even my ass.
So what to do?
That is where you guys come in! In my full dramatic way, I want you to decide what to do and I want you to be honest with me. None of this, oh I'm sure you look great load of crap. What would you do if you were feeling like I do now?
The options I give are:
1. Say Fuck it, pardon my French. I'm already screwed might as well eat as much as possible, even though I don't really want to eat that much at this point because I have been eating as much as possible. Phewww, long one.
2. Keep up the 80s video jazzercise and eat a smidgen better. Upon arriving home, good diet and an active lifestyle will make your body return eventually. Maybe once the boys are back in school, you can even join pilates once again. FYI: this is very balanced, sound, and middle ground. I am none of the above. I am rash, irrational, and indecisive. I don't know if I can stick to this one, no matter how sane it may be.
3. Do the Master Cleanse, but for 7 days max... maybe just 5. Yes, I'm a gluten for punishment but seriously, not looking forward to this one. The weird potion you drink, no food, and all that. Makes me nervous. And I know I will gain back the majority that I lose. But I will say, the 3 days I managed to do the other cleanse gave me a great jump start. I figure, if I can get the extra frontal baggage off, at least 50%, I can do the other half sanely.
4. Spontaneously thought of idea by you. This is the thing that popped into your head while reading 1 through 3.
Now, I know you think I've made up my mind but, once again, refer to the second to last sentence of option 2. Indecisive to the core.
So you tell me, honestly, if you were me, what would you do? You are a bit out of control right now with your eating, you are not craving any food from here in particular at this point, you are a bit disgusted with the girth, and are totally irrational.
By the way, I also am aware that while I put on weight, it's not that big of a deal. I know I'm being a big poor sport about the whole thing. Just a little whine with my wine. But seriously, I hate feeling this way about myself. Such a little pity party and it's starting to get me down.
So, what's the verdict?
