Can I have my Meds, Pretty Please!

 I really need to start reading Brazilian papers.  At the very least, I need to listen to the radio.

I went to the pharmacy to buy some just in case antibiotics for my youngest's penis. Long story short, here's the blog post: To circumcise or not to circumcise.

The Pediatric Urologist gave me the name of an antibiotic and antibiotic cream to bring with us to the states, just in case the little penis once again blows up like a Puffer Fish.

Per normal, I went in with my list, the antibiotics and other items.  The pharmacist was collecting like a good little man when he mentioned he needed the px for the antibiotics. I laughed. Seriously, a good belly laugh. Right. I know you do but I don't have one so please, can you just get it for me anyway.

No.

What? Now I was just confused. It was cute at first but it was getting annoying. Well, turns out we are enforcing yet another law, prescriptions. Someone forgot to send me the memo.  I actually had to go to my kids' doctor and pick one up to go and get the "just in case" medicine. The guy wouldn't even sell me the cream. I get that it's all about controlling antibiotics but seriously, the cream?  It's R$40 for a tube the size of travel toothpaste. And it's for skin infections. I seriously doubt anyone is getting off on buying this stuff and lubing up their whole body.

Then again, people are crazy.

I'm starting to get nervous. Next thing you know, we'll be getting tickets for j walking. Popcorn and churro vendors with have to have... gasp... permits!  And I will leave this country the day they outlaw drinking on the streets. That is where I draw the line. That and public urination. No no, line drawn after public urination and before drinking on the street. 

I'm all about the development of Brazil.  You go you rock stars!  But I do have an issue with it turning into the US. I would like that it not do that please.

But really, truly, madly and deeply, let's keep some perspective.  Fresh corn on the cob sold from a vendor on the street = good! Random guy selling soda and water out of a Styrofoam box, also good. Creepy old dude selling snacks at the park is super good. Hey, I have to carry around enough crap, you also want me to bring snacks? 

So let's not get too out of hand with this whole "control" thing. It's an evil drug that can take a country over.  And if you start getting petty with legislation, I'm going to get petty too.  You know, like stop focusing on j walking and maybe make it illegal for children under 17 to be out of school. Mandatory education for all kids, and that would require you to build enough schools and have enough teachers. Who's getting annoying now?

More Penises? Seriously, Grow up...

Because I'm apparently obsessed with penis size... who knew?  Here's a little map within the US. I'm very proud of San Diego! Way to represent!

My previous Penis Post: Yes I'm Writing About Penises, was about Penis size on an international level.  But since I'm an American, I have to do a shout out to the penises of my native land. You can't forget where you come from, and half of me came from an American penis.  

I Got me Some Pickle Fever

All of us foreigners have our thing. It's that thing that we can't live without, even years after moving to another country.

I love one friend's obsession.  I can't help it, it's hilarious. She misses pickles.  Big, crisp, salty dill pickles.  Fair enough. When I was pregnant with my first, I almost raided McDonalds to get me some. It seemed cheaper than ordering 20 hamburgers just for one little sliver of green goodness. You guessed right, I was so desperate I actually considered McDonald's pickles good.

And yes, you can find them here... but they aren't real dill pickles. It's like soy.  You can shape it into a turkey but it's still soy.  That's what the pickles are here.  No, not soy. They are soggy cucumbers  masquerading as pickles in a pickle jar.  I'm almost personally offended every time I see them.

And you know what, we get over it.  Pickles, real Mexican food, and Lays potato chips are some of the things we just don't have in Rio de Janeiro.

Well, my friend has had enough.  She's been here far too long and she's done with the pickle-less life.  She is actually making her own pickles.

Who does that other than Great Aunts and 50s housewives?

This friend, that's who. She's got dill fever and it's not settling down until she hits perfection.  I'll tell you this much, they are pretty damn good. Need a little more salt but still, I'm impressed and it's not just with the pickles.  That is some serious initiative on her part.

It is almost enough to inspire me to become Mexican and just open that restaurant already.

What's your thing?

City Girl goes Country, kind of

I had my first ever visit to a hotel fazenda, which is a hotel on a farm. It's pretty popular down here.  I mean, I wouldn't say it's the new black or anything, but maybe the knew brown. 

I know what you are thinking, why in the hell would you vacation on a farm?!  I was curious about this as well.  I believe it to be a Club Med farm experience. A little more rustic, very little rules, and drinks for Mom and Dad.  Fun for the whole family.

It is quite an experience.  We're talking grass as far as the eye can see.  That was the biggest excitement for my youngest. You know they've been living in a big city for too long when they get stoked on grass, and not the kind you smoke. 

There was a whole adaptation process. First, curiosity.  What is that and can I touch it? Second, acceptance. I can touch it! Third, love. Not only can I touch it, I can roll in it, eat it, and I'll never put my shoes on again. 

I really do recommend this for family and friends alike.  It's great to get out of the hot sweaty city to the breezy warm country. A nice dip in the pool and the warm scent of cow manure will take the edge off of any city girl.

Kids, Not for the faint-hearted

In the word of "Eat, Pray, Love*", children are like a tattoo on your face. You really have to be committed.


In my group of friends, I've always had a couple who don't want kids and I don't blame them. I don't like other people's kids... well, the majority anyway.  And that's actually gotten worse since having my own. 

Kids are not a hobby.  They are not an after school activity.  The literally suck the life out of you and, strangely enough, it's your pleasure to allow them.  You see, once you become a parent, you are mutated into a whole new breed of human.  You are never the same. 

What gets me here in Brazil is that not wanting kids isn't really acceptable.  If you are not immediately and directly argued with about it, it's only because they have decided you'll grow into wanting them eventually.  Of course if you have a Vagina you want kids!  Why else have one?! Well, I can give you a couple of reasons but this is a semi-family friendly blog. 

So let me climb up on my soapbox and give you my speech on it. It'll take a minute, I have two boys hanging off of my ankles.

Don't have kids if you don't know if you want them. You know if you want kids! And guess what, they aren't going anywhere... ever.  They wake up at night to tell you they farted.  They puke every single time you forget to bring extra clothes.  They will never eat their vegetables when your Mother-in-law is over and watching.  They learn the curse words you mumble after an argument with your husband and then tell their teacher that when Mommy is mad she calls Daddy ________.   And at least once in their life, they will crap on your floor.

Of course there is the other side.  They will hug you with their whole selves, body, spirit, and humor.  There's a real beauty in being the only thing that comforts an upset or sick child in the middle of the night.  You will smile all 300 times a day your toddler says monkey because it's the first real word they have mastered.  It's amazing to see them grow and develop. It's like sea monkeys without the smelly tank.  And if you keep the right mindset, you'll laugh more than you ever have in your life. These little people are hilarious, even when they crap on your floor.

So what are you, pro or against babies in your life?  Why or why not?

*FYI: I hated the movie and wasn't all that impressed with the book.